Friday, August 28, 2015

The Day My Little Guy Didn't Need Me...As Much

Well, it finally happened.  I dropped Chief off for his first day of 4th grade this past Monday.  We left early enough so I could drop off Red at high school (insert sigh and sad face).  I had planned it so that I would have time to walk him in.  Then Monday morning I heard the words..."Mom, I am going to walk in by myself."  Wow!!  He's 9.  I know he can't stay little forever.  But really, I thought I had another year.  This should have been my last year to walk in my sweet boy.  He's my last one.  There's no more kids to walk in.  Boom!  Just like that...he's doesn't need me on the first day.  He did not need me to help carry supplies.  He did not need me to hold his hand as we walked across the busy parking lot.  He did not need me to ease him into a new situation.  Yep, just like that he did not need me.  I was good though.  I didn't cry.  I did not protest and demand to let me walk him in.  I drove through the carpool line, watched him get out and walk into the school alone. 

I realize this is a big step.  It's a step closer to him becoming more independent.  A step closer to becoming a man.  But this was also the day, I realized he wasn't my baby anymore.  Despite my best efforts, his sister and he continue to grow everyday.  I can't keep them little forever.  They grow closer to us while at the same time grow apart.  (Does that even make sense?!)  The kids still need us but in a different way.  With a 4th grader and a freshman, I don't need to wipe their faces and hold their hands.  But they still need my support, encouragement and love...maybe more so than when they were infants. 

So I begin this school year transitioning into the mom that no longer has little ones.  I am in "that place..."  I'm not answering their every whim as I did when they were babies.  I'm there when they need me.  Whether it's helping with math homework (yuck!), or a sounding board for the latest disagreement between friends, they still need me.  Until they need me, I just wait in the background, cheering them on.

Hugs y'all,

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